Everything you provide tells the recipient “you can’t provide this for yourself, so I will”.

If a teacher provides an answer the student is struggling for, it says “you can’t figure this out yourself, so I will”.

If a boss provides management of employee’s workflow, it says “you can’t manage this yourself, so I will”.

If a charity provides basic necessities to a poor person, it says “you can’t provide for your own basic needs, so I will”.

If a charity provides a home for a young orphan, it says “you can’t provide a home for yourself, so I will”.

If a friend provides a hug to a hurting person, it says “you can’t comfort yourself, so I will”.

Which of these are you comfortable with?

In Haiti I drove by a housing development built by charity. I saw rows upon rows of small concrete houses painted pastel shades of pink and green. Next to the entrance to this cluster of homes was a sign with the name of the charity that built them, “Food for the Poor”. Would it not crush your dignity a little each day to acknowledge as you walked by that sign that you are one of “the poor” who apparently isn’t capable of feeding yourself? I’m glad Food for the Poor built those houses. I wish they had put a normal name on the sign, like “Hillside Subdivision” or “Eastview Homes” – or something better that would inspire pride each time a resident walked by.

Sometimes it feels really good to be a provider. We get to feel capable, generous, proud of our good work. Sometimes it feels really crappy to be the recipient of the “you can’t” message that goes along with that provision.

There are some things we can’t provide for ourselves. For everything else, let’s have the courage to say “you can, so I won’t”.