Lately it seems like everything I want to do to grow to the next level collides with all kinds of anxious resistance in me.

I feel like a little kid who grew up in the jungle, in a little clearing. All my life I was scared, constantly on guard against what might jump into the clearing and attack me. I didn’t sleep well, I didn’t have fun, I just stayed on guard, circling and looking in all directions for danger.

Then I got some help from some good people and I found the clearing is not as dangerous as I thought. So I started to relax and enjoy life a little more. That was scary, but I was working through it.

But now, now people are telling me I need to LEAVE THE CLEARING. Try new things. Delegate. Outsource. Engage. Take risks on purpose. Depend on other people to take care of important things. (What is the matter with you people. Don’t you know it’s dangerous out there!)

So here I am a scared little kid, wooden sword in hand, wide-eyed and shallow-breathing, inching into the jungle trying desperately to be brave but feeling stomach-turning waves of anxiety every time a twig snaps. I want to go back to the clearing. I want to dig a hole and crawl underground and cover it with a lid to keep out the scary world.

Sitting in my foxhole, I know God made me for more than this. I know He gave me potential to do big things in parts of the jungle I’ve never seen. I really want to get brave and go see what’s out there. Maybe beyond the thick of the jungle there are sweeping plains and powerful mountains, peaceful rivers and breathtaking oceans. Scared as I am, I cannot ignore God’s call to what’s beyond. I can’t stay here.

To my friends who feel the same fear and hear the same calling, let’s not creep through the jungle alone. I’m not brave enough to head out there by myself. Let’s form a posse and help each other through the tangles and give each other courage to do the brave things we think we cannot do.